For many people on the path to recovery from addiction, the idea of relapsing can feel like a sudden, catastrophic event. It is a common misconception that a person who relapses made a quick decision to use drugs or alcohol again out of nowhere. However, professionals in the field of addiction treatment understand that a relapse is not a single event. Instead, it is a slow process that unfolds over time, with clear relapse warning signs leading up to the act of using. Understanding the stages of relapse and what signs of relapse to look for can give individuals and their loved ones a better insight into how to identify the process early and stop it before a full relapse occurs.
What is Relapse in Addiction Recovery?
Different treatment centers and professionals have varying definitions for what is relapse, but generally, it can be defined as “a recurrence of symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement.” After making progress in treatment and recovery, a relapse is when an individual takes a step back or has a return of the symptoms of their addiction. The meaning of relapsing is not about a single moment of weakness but rather a progression of behaviors and emotions that lead back to old patterns. Relapse generally happens in three distinct stages rather than being one singular event. Knowing this can help a person feel less shame if they are struggling and empower them to take action.
The Three Stages of Relapse
Relapse typically occurs in three distinct stages that happen over time and progressively get worse. These three stages are crucial for anyone to understand this process and to look out for someone who may be in the process of relapsing.
1. Emotional Relapse
Relapse begins emotionally. During this stage, the person is not actively thinking about using drugs or alcohol. Instead, their emotions and behaviors are deteriorating, and these changes can set the stage for a physical relapse later on. It’s a period of self-neglect and avoidance where the individual is not engaging in the positive habits they learned in recovery.
There are certain signs to look for if a person is in the midst of an emotional relapse, such as:
- Mood swings and irritability: Experiencing a short fuse and becoming easily frustrated with others and with themselves.
- Isolation and withdrawal: Avoiding social events, pulling away from their support network, and spending more time alone, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and a lack of accountability.
- Poor sleep schedule: Having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping too much. When a person is not getting adequate rest, their mental and emotional resilience weakens, making them more vulnerable to triggers.
- Unhealthy eating habits: Eating too little or too much, which can be a form of seeking comfort or emotional escape.
- Poor self-care: Neglecting personal hygiene, not exercising, or not taking care of their physical health. This is often a reflection of a person’s inner turmoil and a sign that they are losing their sense of self-worth.
- Not using coping mechanisms: Failing to use the tools they learned in treatment to manage complex emotions like sadness, anger, or stress. They may feel that the skills are not working, or they simply may not have the energy to apply them.
- Avoiding meetings or therapy: Skipping recovery support meetings or therapy sessions, which are crucial for maintaining sobriety and connecting with a support system.
- Going to meetings but not participating: Being physically present but mentally and emotionally checked out.
- Holding in thoughts and feelings: Refusing to talk about what they are going through with a sponsor, a friend, or a professional.
- Avoiding their own problems: Distracting themselves with work, hobbies, or other non-productive activities to avoid dealing with underlying issues.
- Not engaging in sober fun: Losing interest in activities that once brought them joy in recovery.
A helpful way for an individual to gain awareness in this stage is through self-reflection. Journaling is an excellent place to start. By asking questions like, “How am I really feeling today?” or “Am I using my coping skills?” a person can recognize the behavior of emotional relapse and overcome it. It is essential to change behavior, make an effort to be more positive, take care of oneself, and engage in recovery activities to overcome an emotional relapse. Otherwise, a person may fall into the second stage of relapse.
2. Mental Relapse
If a person does not change their behavior during the first stage, they can fall into the stage of mental relapse. During this stage, the internal struggle becomes more pronounced. A person may be fighting with themselves over whether or not to use drugs or alcohol. They may even find themselves thinking about using more often and feeling a strong urge to escape their current reality. This is when the mind begins to betray the person’s recovery goals.
Common signs of relapse in this stage include:
- Experiencing cravings: Having intense thoughts or urges to use.
- Fantasizing about using: Romanticizing past drug or alcohol use and remembering only the “good” times while completely forgetting the pain and consequences.
- Bargaining with oneself: Thinking of scenarios where it would be “okay” to use, such as “just this once,” or “only on vacation,” without acknowledging their past struggles.
- Planning the physical relapse: Actively seeking out opportunities to use, such as looking up old dealers, driving by old hangouts, or making plans with people they used with in the past.
- Glamorizing drug or alcohol use: Remembering a distorted version of their past and forgetting the negative consequences that led them to seek help.
- Minimizing the consequences of using: Telling themselves that it won’t be that bad this time or that they can handle it.
- Thinking they can control their use: Believing that they can use a substance just once or in moderation, despite their history of addiction.
At this stage, a person is at a high risk for a physical relapse. Engaging in relapse prevention techniques is an excellent way to halt the process and bring the person back to a healthy state in their recovery. A person may want to consider talking to a trusted peer, a sponsor, or a therapist immediately, waiting for 30 minutes before acting on a craving, or using relaxation techniques. If a mental relapse is not dealt with, it can quickly lead to a physical relapse.
3. Physical Relapse
Physical relapse is the third and final stage and involves the person actively using drugs or alcohol. This is when the person has acted on the mental plans and urges. This is a critical point where it is essential to reach out for help to stop the cycle before the individual falls back into active addiction. It is vital to remember that a physical relapse does not mean a person has failed. Instead, it is a sign that the individual needs to reevaluate their coping methods, behaviors, and recovery plan. A relapse can be an opportunity to learn what went wrong and to strengthen a person’s long-term sobriety.
The Science of Relapse: How the Brain Changes
To truly understand what is relapsing, it helps to look at the science behind it. Addiction is a chronic disease that physically and chemically changes the brain. When a person uses a substance, the brain’s reward system is flooded with dopamine, a “feel-good” chemical. Over time, the brain becomes accustomed to this constant flood and stops producing its own dopamine, relying on the substance instead. This is how physical dependence forms.
During recovery, the brain slowly begins to heal and re-learn how to produce its own dopamine, but the cravings and memories of past use remain. The brain has been rewired to prioritize the substance above all else. When a person experiences a trigger, such as a moment of stress or boredom, a memory of past use can be activated, sending a powerful signal to the brain that the substance is needed. This is why willpower alone is often not enough to stop a relapse. The subconscious parts of the brain that have been hijacked by addiction can overpower the conscious mind. By understanding how the brain is affected by addiction, we can approach recovery and relapse with more compassion and a focus on long-term brain health and recovery.
Relapse Warning Signs to Look For
While each stage has its own distinct relapse warning signs, there are general signals that can help you recognize a person who is struggling more clearly. These apply to both the individual in recovery and their loved ones. If you are a family member or friend, knowing these signs of relapse can help you offer support before a full relapse occurs.
Common warning signs of relapsing include:
- Glamorizing past drug or alcohol use: Only talking about the fun times and forgetting the pain and suffering that came with their addiction.
- A false sense of control: Believing that they have their addiction fully under control and no longer need to follow their recovery plan.
- Hanging around old people and places: Intentionally or unintentionally putting themselves in high-risk situations associated with past use.
- Sudden changes in behavior: Drastic shifts in mood, attitude, or daily routines.
- Isolation from a support network: Pulling away from a sponsor, sober friends, or family members.
- Not attending meetings or therapy sessions: This is one of the most common and visible signs that a person is struggling.
- Not engaging in “sober fun”: Losing interest in hobbies or activities that brought them joy in sobriety.
- Doubting the recovery process: Questioning the effectiveness of their program or the principles of recovery.
- Feeling more stressed than normal: Feeling overwhelmed by everyday pressures and not having a healthy way to cope.
- Experiencing depression or anxiety: A return of symptoms from a co-occurring mental health disorder.
The Role of Co-Occurring Mental Health Relapse
When we talk about what is relapsing, it is crucial to recognize that it is often a two-part process, especially for those with a dual diagnosis. A mental health relapse is a return of symptoms for conditions such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, which a person had learned to manage in recovery. For many people, substance use began as a way to self-medicate these uncomfortable mental health symptoms. When a person stops using substances, their mental health symptoms may re-emerge, and without the proper coping skills, they are at a higher risk of turning back to their substance of choice.
This is why an integrated approach to treatment is so important. A relapse in mental health can be a significant trigger for a relapse into addiction. If a person is no longer managing their anxiety with coping skills or is skipping therapy sessions, the stress and discomfort can become so overwhelming that using drugs or alcohol to escape feels like the only option. Recognizing the signs of a mental health decline—such as poor hygiene, mood swings, changes in sleep, and social withdrawal—is just as important as recognizing the signs of an impending substance use relapse.
The Difference Between a Slip and a Relapse
One of the most important concepts in recovery is understanding the difference between a “slip” and a “relapse.” A slip, or lapse, is a single event of using drugs or alcohol. For example, a person might be out with friends and have one drink. While this is a serious deviation from a sobriety plan, a slip is not a full-blown relapse. The defining characteristic of a slip is that the person immediately stops and gets back on track with their recovery plan, often feeling renewed shame and motivation to get sober again.
A relapse, on the other hand, is a full return to old behaviors and patterns. After a slip, a person might think, “Well, I messed up, so I might as well keep going.” This is when a single mistake turns into a full-scale relapse. The person might stop attending meetings, isolate themselves from their support network, and return to active addiction. It is vital for people in recovery to understand that a slip is not a failure. It is a sign that they need to course-correct immediately. A person can learn from a slip and prevent it from becoming a full-blown relapse.
Building Resilience: The Path from Relapse to Long-Term Recovery
A relapse can feel like the end of the world, but it does not have to be the end of your recovery journey. In fact, many people who experience a relapse go on to achieve long-term sobriety. The key is to view it as a learning opportunity, not a failure. A relapse can reveal weaknesses in your recovery plan that you were previously unaware of. It can show you what your true triggers are and what situations you are not yet equipped to handle.
If a physical relapse occurs, the most important thing to do is to get back on track as soon as possible. The longer a person uses after a relapse, the harder it is to get back to a sober life. The first step is to contact your support system immediately. Call your sponsor, a sober friend, or a family member. Be honest about what happened. At our drug rehab in Atlanta, GA we are ready to help you rebuild. We can assist you in re-stabilizing, reinforcing your coping skills, and developing a stronger, more effective relapse prevention plan. This experience, while difficult, can be the very thing that builds the resilience needed to maintain lifelong sobriety.
Developing a Personalized Relapse Prevention Plan
Preventing relapse is a continuous and active process. The most effective way to do this is by creating a personalized relapse prevention plan. This plan is not a simple checklist; it is a living document that a person can use to stay on track.
A good relapse prevention plan includes:
- Identifying Triggers: Knowing what situations, people, places, and emotions make you want to use is the first step. Triggers can be internal (stress, boredom, anger) or external (seeing an old friend, going to a party). Once you know your triggers, you can either avoid them or prepare for them.
- Building a Strong Support System: Having a network of people you can call when you are struggling is essential. This can include a sponsor, a therapist, sober friends, and trusted family members.
- Practicing Healthy Coping Skills: Learning and using healthy ways to manage stress, boredom, and negative emotions is crucial. This can include exercise, meditation, journaling, hobbies, or calling a friend.
- Creating a Crisis Plan: A crisis plan is what you will do if you find yourself in a high-risk situation. This can be as simple as a list of phone numbers to call or an escape route from a party where there are drugs or alcohol.
- Engaging in Aftercare: After leaving a treatment center, a person’s recovery is a long-term commitment. Engaging in aftercare programs, attending meetings, and continuing therapy are vital for maintaining sobriety.
How Loved Ones Can Help and When to Seek Professional Help
Relapse is a heartbreaking experience for everyone involved, and loved ones often feel helpless as they watch a person they care about struggle. If you are a friend or family member, knowing the relapse warning signs can make all the difference. The most important things you can do are to be supportive without enabling and to set clear boundaries.
- Be a safe space for communication: Let your loved one know that you are there to listen without judgment. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and fears.
- Encourage professional help: Gently suggest that they reach out to their sponsor or therapist if you notice them struggling. Offer to drive them to meetings or appointments.
- Avoid blaming or shaming: Remember that relapse is a part of a disease, not a moral failure. Shaming a person will only increase their feelings of isolation and make them less likely to seek help.
- Set boundaries: You are not responsible for their recovery, and it is crucial to protect your own well-being. It is okay to say, “I love you, but I can’t be around you when you are using.”
If you or a loved one is struggling, or if a physical relapse has occurred, the best thing to do is reach out for help. Our outpatient drug rehab in Atlanta, GA has vast experience in preventing relapse and helping those that have gone through it. We can get you back on your feet and find the joy that sobriety brings.
Relapse is an unfortunately common part of the recovery process for many people healing from addiction. While it is common, that does not mean you have to go through it. Learning the three stages of relapse and what relapse warning signs to look out for can help you stop yourself or someone else from disrupting sobriety. At Hope Harbor Wellness, we can get you back on your feet and help you find the joy that sobriety brings. Call us today at 770-573-9546 or fill out our online contact form for more information. Together we can prevent relapse and find joy in sobriety.
What Is Relapsing Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between a slip and a relapse?
A slip, or lapse, is a single event of drug or alcohol use, while a relapse is a full return to old behaviors and addiction. A slip does not have to become a relapse if the person immediately gets back on track with their recovery plan.
How long do the stages of relapse last?
The stages of relapse can last for different periods for different people. Emotional relapse can go on for weeks or months, and mental relapse can last for days or weeks. The key is to intervene as early as possible.
What is a mental health relapse?
A mental health relapse is a return of symptoms from a mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety, that a person had previously managed. This is a common trigger for substance use relapse.
What are the most common relapse warning signs?
Common relapse warning signs include isolating oneself, not attending meetings or therapy, becoming more irritable or stressed, and fantasizing about past drug or alcohol use.
What should I do if I think I am about to relapse?
The most important thing to do is reach out immediately. Talk to a sponsor, a sober friend, a therapist, or a loved one. The urge to use will often pass if you can just wait for a short period of time.
What role does a relapse prevention plan play?
A relapse prevention plan is a proactive strategy to help a person in recovery identify their triggers and prepare for high-risk situations. It includes a support system, coping skills, and a plan for what to do if a slip occurs.
Does relapsing mean I’ve failed?
No, relapsing does not mean you have failed. It is a common part of the recovery process for many people and can be a learning experience that leads to a stronger, more committed sobriety.
